Holding Grief, Choosing Gentleness

What I’m reading, watching, and caring for right now

This year, I didn’t make New Year’s resolutions. Instead of trying to reinvent myself or set goals that ask me to push harder, I’m paying attention to what actually supports me. What steadies me, what softens me, and what helps me stay present in my life as it is.

In a few weeks, it will be two years since I lost my sister, Lisa, to suicide. As I approach this milestone in my grief journey, I’m noticing how much care I need right now, and I can feel it in my body as well as in my thoughts. This season feels less about becoming something new and more about tending what’s already here.

What I’m reading

I keep Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD, close. It doesn’t rush grief or try to make meaning out of pain... it simply honors the experience of loving and losing. Some days I read a few pages. Some days I just let it sit beside me. This will also be our June grief book club read, and I’m really looking forward to holding space around it together.

I’m also reading Hell Bent by Brian Recker, which explores how the fear of hell holds Christians back from a spirituality of love. It’s honest, challenging, and expansive, and it invites a re-centering of love instead of fear.

What I’m watching

I’m watching All Creatures Great and Small on PBS. It’s wholesome and refreshing, with kind people, gentle storylines, and beautiful countryside. Exactly the kind of comfort my nervous system needs right now.

What I’m doing for my body and nervous system

I’m leaning into gentle, consistent care — things that support regulation more than productivity. My HigherDose red light face mask, sauna bag, and PEMF mat have become quiet anchors. Warmth, light, and frequency. Small reminders that my body is allowed to soften.

Alongside that, I’ve been using Hyaluxe lymphatic drainage products to support circulation and release, letting my body move things through instead of holding everything in.

A simple Biodance face mask here and there feels less about skincare and more about pause. And diligent oral care by Guru Nanda has become part of a slower, more intentional ritual — grounding, sensory, and unhurried.

What my evenings look like lately

I’m creating a softer landing at night by turning the lights down, choosing gentle lighting instead of glare, and limiting screens and TV. Some nights that looks like a few minutes of quiet meditation or breath before sleep. Some nights it’s simply stillness. Nothing elaborate... just intentional unwinding.

I’ve also been experimenting with Beauty Sleep mouth tape as part of my nighttime routine. It’s been a gentle support for breathing and sleep, and another small way I’m tending my nervous system with care.

What I’m learning

Care doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful. Healing doesn’t need to be visible to be real. Tending to myself, gently and consistently, is enough for this season.

If you’re moving through grief and need support, or if you know someone who is, please pass the word. No one should have to carry this alone.

(None of the products mentioned are sponsored. I’m simply sharing what’s supporting me right now.)

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